


Bubblegum Defence

by brilliantsnafu



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: AroAce Charlie Weasley, Aromantic Asexual Charlie Weasley, Aromantic Character, Aromantic Charlie Weasley, Asexual Character, Asexual Charlie Weasley, Gen, Metamorphmagus, Peer Pressure, Tumblr: aroacehogwarts, amatonormativity, aroace character, i wrote this YEARS ago and still like it how ridiculous is that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-28
Updated: 2019-08-28
Packaged: 2020-09-28 05:53:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20420984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brilliantsnafu/pseuds/brilliantsnafu
Summary: Aroace Charlie Weasley gets cornered in the Gryffindor locker rooms by a "friend" who's just trying to "help him" get a datemate. He is saved by an unlikely hero.





	Bubblegum Defence

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on [aroacehogwarts](https://aroacehogwarts.tumblr.com) on [October 19, 2015](https://aroacehogwarts.tumblr.com/post/131513267837/aroacehogwarts-does-aawfc-2015-asexual-awareness).

“Weasley! Have a moment to chat?”

Charlie paused at the door of the Gryffindor locker rooms and attempted to stifle a sigh. He worried the noise that did escape would be interpreted as a “yes.” And, unfortunately, it was.

His teammate Brown clapped him on the shoulder.

“Excellent flying out there today, Weasley! Though that’s no surprise. Everyone knows you’re the best seeker Gryffindor’s had in decades–”

“What do you want, Brown?” Charlie didn’t mean to be rude, but Sterling Brown always had ulterior motives. He never spoke to Charlie otherwise. (Tonks was convinced it was because Brown thought his talents were being squandered as a chaser and he wanted to replace Charlie as seeker.)

“Oh, just wanted to put in a good word for my mate Cornfoot. _Again._” The last addition almost sounded like an accusation to Charlie.

“Yeah, well. Like I said before, not interested.”

“I know,” Brown blocked the exit with his formidable frame. “I know that’s what you said. What you always say. But mate, it’s sixth year, and you haven’t been with a _single girl_.” Again with the accusations. Charlie tried to slip past the chaser but was blocked again, more aggressively this time. “You could have nearly anyone! But you don’t even try! The closest you ever get is that Hufflepuff–”

“Tonks is my friend,” Charlie declared.

“That is what I’m saying! You only have girl friends. Never _girlfriends_.”

Charlie could feel his fingernails sink into the wood of his brother’s old broom.

“I’m just not into that.”

“Which is why I’m here,” Brown smirked, “to offer you the chance to go out with a great GUY. Namely, Baruch Cornfoot. He can show you a good time! Not that I’d know, of course…”

“Good for him. Still. Not. Interested.” Charlie finally proceeded to force his way past Brown. He nearly hit the ground from the chaser’s literal push to keep him there.

“Look, Weasley, I–”

“_Good afternoon._”

The two Gryffindors looked up into the face of none other than Professor Dumbledore.

“Professor!” Brown exclaimed. “I was just showing Weasley here how to fend off opposing players who might give him a hard time looking for that snitch.”

“Funny,” Dumbledore looked at them over the top of his half-moon spectacles, “It seemed to me as though you were trying to bully Mr. Weasley here into a date. In my day people led with poems and chocolates and avoided shoving the boys they fancied.”

Brown gaped. “N-No! I don’t… Cornfoot–”

“Ah! I completely understand.” Dumbledore put a reassuring arm around the boy and guided him toward the door. “If you stop bothering Mr. Weasley, who made it very clear that he is not interested in a relationship, we will make sure not to tell your boyfriend Cornfoot about this little indiscretion.”

Charlie thought Brown looked like he was about to combust.

The three of them had left the locker rooms and were standing outside the quidditch pitch. A few people remained, still discussing the game. Brown looked hopelessly from Dumbledore’s serene-but-stern smile to Charlie’s confused-but-happy grin. Without another word he turned and stormed off toward the castle. Before he got too far off one of the people still milling about broke off from the group and ran to catch up. _It was Cornfoot._ Charlie watched as the larger boy matched Brown’s stride and leaned in, obviously trying to ask how it went. Brown’s reply of “_Oh, get off it!_” could be heard across the grounds.

“A charmer, that Brown,” Charlie remarked.

“Yes. Ever since he became good friends with Cornfoot he sees himself as incredibly magnanimous, with an immunity to being homophobic in any way.”

Charlie snorted.

“Of course, I know you are equally concerned with his belief that you are required to feel sexual and romantic attraction.”

Charlie froze. He thought Dumbledore just assumed he was gay like everyone else did. _How did he know the truth?_

“Calm yourself, my boy,” Charlie heard Dumbledore say. His voice sounded strange though, as if it were morphing into the voice of someone else. Then, _her_ voice. “You know I won’t tell a soul.”

Charlie’s head snapped sideways to look at Dumbledore, and that is exactly who he saw: Professor Albus Dumbledore, Hogwarts Headmaster… with a long, bubblegum pink beard, and _his best friend’s voice_.

“Merlin’s baggy y-fronts, Tonks!” The metamorphmagus returned to her typical looks… with the exception of the beard.

“I do like this,” she said, stroking it in a most dignified manner. “Think I might keep it.”

“It suits you,” Charlie murmured, still in shock.

“I’ve been practicing! I’ve never grown one this long. And did you see how tall I was?? That was a new record too.” The half-moon spectacles still perched on her nose glinted in the afternoon sun.

“But, _how!?_ How did you know I needed help? How did you morph so fast? _Where did you get Dumbledore’s glasses??_”

“Ah, my fine aroace friend,” Tonks tucked the spectacles safely into a pocket inside her robes, “You have your secrets, and I have mine.”


End file.
